Loving yourself is a lifelong journey. We're constantly evolving, shedding old identities and embracing new ones. There's so much to learn about the world that we live in and the world that lives inside of us. What keeps my confidence high, is remembering that I was created for a divine purpose, and there is only one me. Learning what makes you special, nurturing your unique gifts, and indulging in things that bring you joy, will boost the love that you have for yourself. Self- love isn't always easy. A lot of posts on social media only discuss self- love and self- care when mentioning bubble baths and face masks. These are examples of ways you can love and care for yourself, but self- love doesn't stop here. Self- love is also forgiving yourself and others, learning from the past, taking accountability, taking risks, setting and honoring boundaries, embracing every part of yourself, living intentionally, and much more.
I never really liked the phrase "finding yourself". I always preferred to say "returning to self". I think "finding yourself" implies that you're lost, and you have to look elsewhere to understand yourself.
I don't think anyone is ever really lost, you just have to dig deep within to explore who you truly are. I think deep down we know who we are, we just have to peel back layers of outside opinions, doubt, trauma, and old identities to reveal our truest self.
When I did a mentorship in college, one lesson was about different types of love.
We talked about types of love and the qualities of each type. Romantic love, familial love, platonic love were a few that we discussed. "Self-love" wasn't on the agenda, but I brought it up because it was necessary. I think that's very important to instill in young girls, especially young Black girls.
I like to view self- love as the foundation of your life. If your foundation is solid, your life will run a lot smoother. Of course we can't control everything that happens in life, but we can control how we view ourselves, how we express and present ourselves to the world, and how we care for ourselves. Life can be very challenging at times, but it's even more challenging when you don't have a strong sense of self- confidence and self- love. Reminding yourself that you'll get through whatever you're going through helps the healing process. Also, reaching out to your support system helps a lot. Life can be hard, and it's even harder when you're hard on yourself. Loving yourself through every step makes the rough times less painful. You'll have more hope that you'll make it through.
To truly get to know yourself, you have to really take the time out to learn who you are. Indulge in activities that bring you joy, check in with yourself and your feelings, and embrace every part of who you are. This blog is a way to express myself creatively and indulge in a creative hobby of mine that I enjoyed as a child. I wanted to keep it lighthearted, true to myself, and enjoyable for myself and my readers. I didn't want it to feel like work or school. I'm using my time intentionally to dive into my passions, find new hobbies, and fulfill old ones.
If you really know me, you know that I love my alone time. A lot of people tell me that "I be in my own little world", and it's true. Before the pandemic, I loved exploring alone. I enjoyed going shopping, going to concerts, getting my hair and nails done, and trying new restaurants with my first friend, myself. I also enjoy being able to meet new people along the way. When I'm alone, I never really feel lonely. It's a sacred time that I look forward to. In order to create a life that you truly love, you have to love the person that's living it. A few days ago, a sister- friend of mine told me that I have a strong sense of self. I think that comes from really taking the time to get to know myself.
I now live alone and this is the perfect time to continue learning myself. I moved into my own apartment in the fall of 2020, and I really enjoy living alone. I enjoy the freedom and the opportunity to create a safe and comfortable space for myself. One of my goals was to get back into leisure reading. I used to read so much as a child, but I stopped as I got older because most of my time and energy went into my schoolwork. I'm currently reading "Such a Fun Age" by Kiley Reid. I saw so many great reviews about this book, and I just had to read it for myself. Also, the author is a Black woman, and the cover is beautiful. It definitely caught my eye. I also spend my time binge watching my favorite shows, trying new recipes and perfecting old ones, creating new hairstyles, listening to music, writing, and practicing yoga and meditation.
Currently, I don't have any major commitments like children or marriage, so living alone was a priority for me. I get to focus on what brings me joy and to get to know myself without outside distractions. It is a lot of responsibility, and I find myself feeling like a maid in my own home. I'm always cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. I don't mind doing these things, but sometimes I get really tired, especially after a busy day. Nonetheless, I truly enjoy living alone and I found the perfect apartment in my hometown. This was a blessing during the global pandemic, and I'm still in awe that I really have my own space. It's the perfect space, and it came at the perfect time. I'm looking forward to more moments of learning and exploring my best self.
"Loving oneself isn't hard when you understand who and what 'yourself' is. It has nothing to do with the shape of your face, the size of your eyes, the length of your hair or the quality of your clothes. It's so beyond all of those things and it's what gives life to everything about you. Your own self is such a treasure." - Phylicia Rashad
"You are your best thing." - Toni Morrison