During my freshman year of college, I attended an event with a few panel speakers. This was many, many years ago, and I don't even remember what the event was about. I'm not even sure what made me go, but I'm glad I did. I don't remember what the original topic was, but one of the panelists started speaking about fear. She said something along the lines of, "How can we be afraid of something that doesn't exist?" When she said that, I immediately pulled out my phone, opened the Notes App, and typed it in my phone. This was many years ago and many iPhones ago. I rarely have iCloud storage, so that page from the Notes App is long gone. Luckily, it had such an impact on me, that I was able to retain that memory.
When we experience fear, we're always thinking about the worst case scenario. "What if I don't get the job?" "What if I fail my class?" What if my business never takes off?" "What if I don't reach this month's goal?" "What if, what if, what if?"
These are only thoughts. None of these thoughts are in this reality. None of it has happened. None of it exists. How can we be afraid of something that doesn't exist? When thinking about the worst case scenario, we're thinking about what could possibly happen in the future. The future doesn't exist. The present moment is the only reality. We don't have much control over the future, so this is why we start overthinking about the possibilities. Instead of thinking about the worst case scenario, we can change our thoughts to the best case scenario. We can always change our perspective.
The fear of failure is very common, and this is usually what stops people from going after what they want. You truly don't know what will happen unless you go after it. A few days ago, I wrote about my thoughts surrounding failure, and I posted it on my IG story. I wrote, "I don't believe in failure. I either win or I win. If something doesn't work out for me, I gain clarity which leads me to what WILL work out for me. It's not a failure. It's simply redirection that will lead me to more wins." I choose to speak positivity over my life because I desire positive outcomes. This is something that we can all practice.
When we experience fear, we have to get to the root of it. Why are we feeling this way?
In my opinion, most times it's just nervousness that we're feeling. It's normal to feel nervous when we're doing something new for the first time. We're no longer in our comfort zone, so we're a little uncomfortable. We should use these feelings as fuel, and just go for it. This is how we grow and gain new experiences and perspectives. When I'm feeling nervous, I like to take some deep breaths, give myself a pep talk, or I'll call someone else for a pep talk. I also like to put on some of my favorite music to uplift my mood. It's good to do things that you enjoy to get your mind off of whatever is making you nervous.
In one of my previous blog posts, I wrote about surrendering and embracing change. When I was in college, I experienced fear around changing my major. Not only was I changing my major, I was changing my career and my entire future. I wasn't sure if I would be happy with the decision and my new life. I decided to just go for it, and that one decision brought me so much happiness. So many doors have opened for me, and I'm excited to see what's next!`
I was in Miami when I first thought about writing this blog post. I started thinking about my future travel destinations, and I thought about how a lot of people live in fear, so they project those feelings onto others. In the future, I want to go on a few solo trips out of the country. Sometimes when I tell people this, the first thing they say is, "Aren't you going to be scared?" My answer is always, "No." I don't live in fear, and I if I did, I wouldn't have gotten this far in life. I also wouldn't be able to do any of the things that I wish to do in the future. Letting go of fear is freeing. You're free to live your life the way you want to live it.
This is your sign to go after what you want. It's your life, and you make the rules. Don't let fear (which doesn't even exist) stop you from getting what you want out of life!
"I'll tell you what freedom is to me. No fear." - Nina Simone